I Don't Want to Meditate
But when I do, the results are miraculous
When I started to explore the idea of launching a podcast that trains business people in using extrasensory skills (I call them “woo tactics”), the one message I kept getting from the practitioners I found to advise me was: Meditate.
I hated the idea. I mean sitting still on the couch for 10, 20 even 30 minutes with my eyes closed and then working to clear my mind of the zoo noises in there? How absolutely boring.
First, I like the zoo noises (don’t I?) and isn’t getting rid of them hard anyway?
Two, won’t I fall asleep?
Three, isn’t meditation for weirdos?
No. No. And, um, no.
I worked as a technology journalist for the majority of 20 years—in the early days I started as a general assignment reporter at a few newspapers. So I am skeptical, by trade. It is an occupational requirement. Though, importantly, I am not a cynic. Skeptics are open to new information. Cynics are not. I am no denialist. Present new information to me and I’m open to it exploring it. But, there has to be some reasonable evidence available before I change my mind about something.
So when it came to meditation, I didn’t want to do it, and I thought it would be boring as hell. And, frankly, it was for the first few times. Yet the more I explored the idea, the evidence mounted that it would contribute to my over-all well being. What I discovered was:
Meditation offers a wide range of health benefits that extend to both the mind and body.
Regular practice has been shown to reduce stress by lowering cortisol levels, the hormone associated with the body’s stress response. This in turn can improve sleep quality, reduce anxiety (!), and even help manage symptoms of depression (!!!). I have suffered anxiety and depression to varying degrees most of my life.
One of meditation's key physiological effects is its ability to slow the heart rate and decrease blood pressure. (I have high blood pressure, so that one fact is very compelling.)
It can also improve immune function by reducing inflammation markers in the body. Cognitive benefits include enhanced concentration, sharper memory, and improved emotional regulation, thanks to structural changes observed in the brain’s prefrontal cortex and hippocampus. I am on-board for a rejigged, better brain.
That said, I still had to sit on the couch like a Buddha in an awkward silence. Except that I didn’t. You can. And its helpful. But you can also meditate when you walk. That was a big “get” when I discovered that. It is just a matter of focus. I walk 45-60 minutes a day for exercise, so I started there. I would look into the middle distance and zone out. Monitor my breathing. Let the zoo activity in my head stampede by and not get hooked by it. (This required a lot of effort.)
What I didn’t know is mediation is not all Kumbaya. It actually takes effort and focus. It is passively active. You don’t just sit in silence and suffer the boredom of it. If you actively meditate, but focusing on your breathe or even the middle distance in front of you, you can get to a kind of floatly middle ground of expanded awareness, but inside a space of nothing. It is hard to understand that experience if you are not a practicing meditator. But it is where you get to after working on it for a few sessions.
The other trick I discover is that if I do want to mediate on the the couch, it is much easier to do after a bit exercise. Go walk or run, then come home and meditate. This gets you there faster.
Your mind is clearer, your body is more relaxed, and your breath more in sync—making it easier to go deeper.
I can now meditate for up to 20 minutes at a time (on the couch) and get to a stillness that is quite magical and that is not boring at all. Time seems elastic and the nothingness is very enjoyable. Counterintuitive, right?
This has helped me gain more confidence. I am more awareness of my dysfunctional thoughts and can move past them better. I stress less. I feel better about myself and my life. But the ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING is my awareness has shifted massively.
That last one is hard to codify. But instead of suffering in my own little lonely corner of my psyche wallowing on the edge of (or sometimes in the chasm of) smoldering depression, I sit wide-awake in the nothingness and I feel as if I am connected. To what, I don’t know, but whatever it is, it feels expansive and inclusive in its not-there-ness.
Finally, I am much more attuned to something bigger. Is it the collective consciousness of humanity? Or, really, the collective consciousness of all living things? Or of all the molecules in the Universe bumping into each other in a vast energetic jig. Yeah maybe that. But then it starts to get a bit weird for me.
I don’t want it to be weird, though. Because weird repels. And meditation is not only for weird people. It’s for you and me as well.
Oh, and one more thing. It has also helped me develop my clairvoyance. I have always been able to see people energetic states in my minds eye if I concentrate on them.
But last night, for the first time, I saw a white band of yellow energy around the leader of a seminar I attended. It was also exciting. And mystical. And evidential. Ok, maybe I am weird. Maybe that’s ok. I think we are all innately weird anyway.
So go meditate. Get you blood pressure down. Feel better about yourself. And if that’s weird: good. Welcome to the woo.